L’Amant Magnifique

Original post date: 18 May 1987
Rating: ✰✰✰✰

 This movie commits the one cardinal sin of films, as far as I’m concerned. It makes sex boring! The title is French for “magnificent lover,” which gives you a clue what it’s going to be about. It’s about a young wife on a French stud farm (snicker), who has some serious problems, but apparently nothing that a virile, young stable boy can’t fix. Some movies show people starting to “do it” and then the camera swerves to look at some natural phenomenon. This movie watches them “do it” interminably and then swerves to focus on nothing in particular for a while. Maybe that’s art, but it looks to me like the cameraman fell asleep. The wife and the stable boy run away together, and apparently the director needed to break them up for a poignant ending, but she couldn’t think of a way to do it, but they go their separate ways anyway. The most fascinating, involving sex scene in the whole movie involves two horses. Warning to parents: This film contains brief frontal human male nudity and lingering frontal horse nudity. Scott Bob says, chuck it out.

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